Hi, my name is
Tom Cruise. I belong to a cult called
Scientology. I have
OT7 super powers. I can fly around and move stuff with my mind. It is my quest and life goal to promote this evil
cult to young children who look up to me and don't know any better. I am trying to ruin as many lives as possible. My god
L. Ron Hubbard would only expect that of his zombie followers like myself.
My cult gets a bad rap in the media because we take all your money and a lot of people have ended up
dead. I believe it's up to me to do something about changing our bad image. That's why I am changing the name of
Scientology to
ScienTOMogy. It's Scientology, except with my name in the middle of it. It's kind of like the word gummy bears. Bears by themselves are scary, but if you just add the word gummy to it, it now becomes a fun enjoyable treat. So now if you were afraid of
aliens and brainwashing dangerous cults like Scientology before, you can now join ScienTOMogy with no worries.
So, I know what you're thinking. Hey Tom, what's your main motivation for doing this whole name change of Scientology to ScienTOMogy? Well, we figure that once people find out that Scientology is really just about a paranoid delusional midget
